China me.

We had to take passport pictures for our health exam and foreign expert certificate. This was way back yonder when it was still amazingly hot (2 months ago). I guess I was sweating profusely, because the lady said she wanted to airbrush it a little. Apparently I sweated my face off, because I could barely recognize myself! I felt like I looked like a China Olympian, fortunately I am older than 16, so I wasn't involved in any controversies.

As part of being a foreign teacher, I have to attend after school English clubs. I guess it is big news for the city so they published a story and my picture was in it. I was actually kinda shocked they didn't opt for a more "Western" looking person.

Chinese Firedrill

You know that game you play as a kid, Chinese fire drill where the car is at a stop light and you get out and run around the car? I always thought it was a bit derogatory, only until I experienced a China fire drill. I was in the middle of class and all of a sudden sirens start blaring. The noise was so loud I wasn't quite sure if our school was under nuclear attack or something. Before I could make a decision 75% of my class bolted, and it wasn't like "oh I got to go" but a "I have to run for dear life NOW." One kid was going back and forth (physically) debating whether or not to tell me what was going on, but in the end made a run for it. When I got outside kids were running down the stairs, and through the hallways to line up in their class lines. Once they got there they were greeted by a loud speaker, and a speech that sounded reminiscent of a motivational speech, but of course I can only guess.

Tennis

I recently started playing tennis again. I bought a new racket after searching for the store for about an hour. There are 2 kinds of rackets, the cheap and the ridiculously expensive. I opted for the cheap and shelled out $30 instead of $300. When I finally found the courts I was supposed to meet people at (the week before I totally missed the courts and ended up getting there 5 mins before our allotted time was up) one of the guys lent me his racket indefinitely after I said I'm not too fond of my new purchase. I forgot how much I love tennis.

Ohhh Thursdays...

Thursdays are my tough days. I have to teach from 9-4pm, with a lunch in the middle, usually my cat-nap time to re-energize. The class after lunch is my worse class of the week, most of my classes are slightly chaotic, but the Thursday after lunch bunch is especially difficult. One week I was so frustrated I made them do every single exercise in the book, and if you saw the book you would know it is punishment. After this "punishment class" a particularly outspoken student approached me to complain. To sum it up he told me my lessons were boring and if I engaged the students I wouldn't have this problem. I responded that the class does not deserve to play games if they refuse to pay attention.

This week the other half of their class was acting up so badly that the other foreign teacher left class. A student from their class ran to find me to tell me, and I immediately told her to go back to class. I walked back into my classroom to find all of my students smashed up on the window trying to eavesdrop, all begging to tell me why the teacher left. Here is how the conversation played out:

Me: "Here's the deal kids, everyone hates teaching you because you are a bad class. You don't listen to anything I say, or do any of the activities. From here on out we can write papers and I will grade them." I looked at some of their faces and saw some looked a little sad. So I said "I don't mean to say you are bad people but you are a bad class."

Then to my surprise that outspoken kid chimed in and said "Don't be sorry, you are just honest. No Chinese teacher in math, or any other class would say anything about our behavior."

That one tiny statement redeemed that kid from my wrath. After class I was so stressed out the other teacher and I got our hair washed. Weird, I know, but they massage your head for 10 mins and then style it. Its pretty amazing.

And on a brighter note, this one girl loves me, so we took a picture. Her name is Christine and she sings me songs from "The Phantom of the Opera" after class. (The one next to me).

Bench day

Today I bought myself a tennis racket. It took about an hour to find the store, I hope it doesn't break! After, I went to sit on the bench by the river to relax and read my book. As I was reading my book a guy stopped and kept staring at me, so I pretended like I didn't notice. About an hour later he came again and did the same thing! This time he actually came up to me and started speaking Chinese. Luckily I had perfected my "I don't speak Chinese" (in Chinese) so he got the point. Then a second later he whipped out English, I was pretty amazed. After a while he said he would teach me Chinese and I agreed (this brings my conversation partner count up to 4). I took out my books and we started practicing. Every time I would try to speak he would constantly giggle and say "Oh my God." But not in the mean way, like an "OMG" but instead in a super-border line gay accent, followed by a string of "teehehehe"s. It was very amusing, even though it was because he found my pronunciation so funny. Afterward, he asked for an English name, so I named him Leo. He is the first friend I have ever got to name!

At night I was supposed to play tennis but I got lost. On the way home, after walking for 2 hours I found the courts, and the people I was supposed to play with were just finishing up. Atleast I found them!

A day of mixed up communication

Today I went to a Chinese speaking church. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Although I didn't understand almost anything that was going on. Wait, I take that back, I did understand when they wanted me to scoot over to make more room for people, I was rather proud of myself for that one. I should have been able to catch on to the songs, because they sang the same one 3 times, but I didn't. I felt a bit obnoxious at first because I had to text my tutee (Esther) about what time to meet and where, except my phone was acting up (i.e. it kept turning off), so I had to continuously tap my phone back to life.

Afterward Sam and I were going to grab some dim sum (I was super excited about it because I have been missing Cantonese food) but I got a call from Esther and she wanted to meet earlier than we had planned, so we had to ditch the idea. She had volunteered to pick me up, but I thought that was too much hassle, so we opted to meet at Walmart...yes Walmart, I have been there 4 times in my short time in Xiamen. When I met her I thought to myself, she is a lot shorter than I remember. I thought about it more and decided this must be one of Esthers helpers that she sent to pick me up. Then when we were waiting in line at KFC (I was really Western today) she mentioned Marina. And then it all made sense. This was the conversation partner my tutor Marina wanted me to meet with to practice Chinese, but I had never contacted. I guess I accidentally saved her name under the person I was supposed to tutor, and had been sending her texts about tutoring which still made sense to her. After I discovered my mistake I excused myself and called the real Esther to tell her what happened, thankfully she was very understanding.

Ivy, the "fake" Esther, turned out to be really nice. She really wants to learn English to help pass a test, and she seems to be dedicated to teaching one another, I guess I will try to squeeze her in. After we ate at KFC she took me to her house and the markets and made dinner for me. It was cool to meet her, she showed me a different part of town and became the very first Chinese house I have ever been to, in China atleast.

So if you are keeping track:

Conversation partners: 3
People I am supposed to tutor: 2
Number of times I have missed tutoring because of bad communication: 2
Amount of money I have lost for myself: 300 kuai (around 45 dollars)

I guess I should do something about my stubborn cell phone...although this time it wasn't really its fault.

Monastery

Monastery Day. (I can't figure out how to get this so it won't be underlined...)

Today we went to the monastery. It was pretty cool. At first I was bummed that it was raining, but it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. It is a huge tourist attraction in Xiamen, apparently it is the most touristed monastery in China. I had no idea! I can see why though, it was impeccably preserved. There were so many people there worshipping statues and giving money. At one point I saw the monks going around and stuffing all the money that was collected into sacks. I should have taken a picture but I was too shy. Another interesting non-captured moment was when people were throwing coins onto the rock for good luck. I tried my luck but it kept rolling off, then someone stole my coin, so I took it as a sign and gave up.

That is a swarm of catfish! They were the biggest catfish I have ever seen.

Tucked away in the cave were hundreds, maybe thousands of statues. I couldn't actually see them until the flash went off. Sam said he thinks they are from people who wanted to get a new idol, but didn't want to throw the old ones away, so they bring them here.

No need to use caution. These sticks/twigs are preventing the huge boulders from falling on you.

Another day in the park

I went to the park to draw again. I choose this really cool dragon statue I felt inspired by...apparently so did every tourist in Xiamen. Unlike the other statue I drew in the same park, this one had foot traffic, and a lot of it. At one point a street vendor hovered over my shoulder and commented about my drawing in Chinese. Next thing I knew a motorbike pulled up right next to me and 2 guys got off, I was worried at first but decided they were harmless. All three of them watched me draw for about 15 minutes and commenting. It was nerve racking! It makes me feel like I should practice at home before I go out in public to draw. On the bright side it did force me to actually focus on something, instead of being worried about what people were thinking.

The Accidental Hike.

After having such a pleasant park experience I decided to discover another amazing park on my day off. So I set out on bus 87, my "church bus" because I have seen some cool areas during my bus trips, as each one passed by I felt like none of them were able to stand up to the high standards that were set by the other park. So I settled on exploring XiaDa (Xiamen University).Almost half of the students there were walking with umbrellas. It was the biggest sun-shielding group I have yet to come across. Forget the sun! I was shielding my eyes from getting poked out!

In the middle of the school there is a big lake that students and tourist alike sit and enjoy.

After successfully conquering the campus I was unsatisfied with my lack of a pure park experience, so I set out to hunt for yet another park I had "seen" on the bus. After walking for about 20 mins I was convinced I was on the absolute right trail to my destination.

A cool building and gate I passed that only further validated that I was onto something big...
After 20 minutes of more walking, and winding up on this gigantic street, I started to doubt my usual keen navigational skills.

But then I saw a crowd of people flocking to this mysterious staircase down a tiny alley, so I decided that the mob mentality hasn't failed me yet, so I tried my luck.
When I got to the top there was a map that I was unable to decipher so I picked a staircase and went.

The park was awesome. It wasn't really a park in the whole huge lawn and water fountain sense, but more of an exploring park. There were rock formations, man made water areas and staircases that led to nowhere. It was pretty cool. Times like these I am really glad that I adopted the shoes and socks concept, because I don't think I would have wanted to hike in sandals. On my way up there was a creepy old man that kept staring at me, that kinda freaked me out for a while and made me remember sometimes I shouldn't wander off by myself, at least not too often...


Even though this wasn't the kind of park I had in mind I think it was well worth the hike and adventure!

It's a bird! It's a plane! No, it's grapefruit on steroids!

Everyone in China raves about this fruit, I can't remember what it is called, but I like to think of it as a beefed up grapefruit (I think it might be using some illegal steroids...). It took me about 15 minutes to peel the thing, and it took some serious muscle power. When I finally got the initial skin off I discovered it is more like an orange, except you are supposed to peel out the pulp from the wrapping. It is pretty good, I can't quite put my finger on the taste, a sweeter grapefruit but a more sour orange. I think I like it. It shall now be known as the groange, a confused grapefruit/orange.

I can do it!

The peel filled up the whole bag! Look how thick that sucker is!